Rizznarker tweets 7: Lassie's Ruff Tricks

As soon as the tweet hit the twitterverse, Dorothy Snarker's hilarious recap of "Living Proof" quickly gained Jane Rizzoli's attention- as always! This week, Snarker compared our detective's quick saving to that of Lassie- and the detective apparently wasn't too fond of being compared to a canine- at first. Snarker is quick to explain that it is a compliment- and a comment on Jane's awesome hair is all the detective needs to let it go. Because she never flirts with Snarker, ever *cough*. So, all is well, and Jane says that she won't have to resort to anything involving counters. But wait, Jane!

Rizznarker tweets 6: Just Like [Gay] Old Times

There are less than 7 days left until the countdown to Rizzoli and Isles season 2 is over, and Dorothy Snarker is at it again! This time, she addresses the recent spotlight set on Jane and Maura's sexualities, and as usual, Jane is quick to reply!



Rizznarker tweets 5: Somebody's Watching Me

In light of recent events, I have decided that it is about time that I return to my tweetcaps. I apologize for the hiatus!
Now, if you are a Rizzles fan, you have probably seen the photograph and read the spoiler that turned many of us into squeeing fangirls. If you do not wish to be slightly spoiled, you might want to turn away now.

Anyhow, this image and explanation from the Rizzles Girls Blog has caused quite an uproar in the community

Rizznarker tweets [3.5]: Come Out, Come Out...to California

I know I said that I would post this Friday, but time got away from me somehow, I apologize! But here is Rizznarker tweetcap 3.5...



So, this all begins with yet another one of Dorothy Snarker's Rizzoli and Isles recaps [which I must say are epic, if you haven't read them yet, you should now].

Jane is flipping out cos, hello, it's not cool that people talk about her fear of witches, she's supposed to be the brave one around here!
And what in the world, how did Snarker get her mum's address?! [That might have something to do with the documentary, Jane...]

So Snarker is pointing out that, hello, at least if her mum finally accepts the fact that Jane is with Miss Isles, she won't have to go dress shopping as much, duh!
And Jane is like, that's not the point here! [Deflecting the issue by accusing Snarker of deflecting? Clever, Rizzoli, very clever.] Plus, her Ma is beginning to ask questions! And we all know how that goes.
And Snarker's like, of course she's asking questions, it's part of accepting it. And Jane needs to figure this out, and Snarker must have good access to a PFLAG and an LGBT center and stuff, cos she's got pamphlets for every person coming out. She's got some more for Jane, cos she seems to be having a problem with this.

   
And then it gets even more hilarious. Jane is all tough chick, telling Snarker she's got a pamphlet for her [maybe something like "An Addict's Guide to Not Outing the Object of Your Obsession" or something? I can't imagine..] that she would send, but California probably isn't even a real place.

Snarker takes the bait and invites Jane to come out *cough* to California [Damn, Snarker and her clever wordplay, she doesn't even have to try, I love it!].

And Jane suddenly remembers her girlfriend when Snarker invites her, cos whoa, I have a feeling Maura was pretty pissed off last time she set up that not-date with Snarker. Plus, she can't leave Maura with a bunch of frat boys and yoga Jorge [cos she'll have to kill them if they try to come onto her girlfriend while she's in the Golden State]. Plus, uh, there's coffee in Boston, too. [Excuses, excuses, Rizzoli. We all know you got it from your girlfriend for pulling that not-date stunt with Snarker] Well, Maura comes in and says that she wouldn't mind if Jane left her behind, she'll be just fine [I sense a fake smile and upset tone, clearly Isles was just getting back at Jane; she made the bed, now she has to lay in it. Mull over that analogy for a bit, I'll walk away]

Well, Snarker leaves no room for excuses, telling Jane that they can come out together- and once again, Snarker ends this conversation.

I guess Jane isn't ready to get in the water just yet? Maybe her and Maura are still learning how to swim ;]

We'll see when the next tweeting match comes up between these two. 'Til then, I still promise that your next dose of Rizzisles tweets is on its way! Please comment and spread the word

Rizznarker tweets [3]: A Coffee Not-Date

So, this week, Jane had even more chatty time with Dorothy Snarker. It seems that she really talks to her a hell of a lot! Hmm...we'll discuss that in another entry, but for now, let us observe the unfolding of plans for a "not-date"!






So this starts off innocently enough [doesn't it always?]  with Rizzoli wearing purple in honor of the Spirit Day mourning the deaths of the youth suicides caused by LGBT bullying. Snarker says that you should listen to her cos, duh, she's a cop, and she is also Jane Rizzoli. And of course Jane takes it as quite a compliment cos she's sure Dorothy has a huge crush on her. Cue winky face from Jane! ";)"
 
So later, Snarker lets us know that she'll be late in her recap of Rizzoli and Isles and us lesbians are sad cos we love any scrap of Rizzisles subtext we can get!



and of course, Jane pops up out of friggin' nowhere to comment on it!


 

Jane suddenly turns it into some not-date, cos clearly Snarker is obsessed, and how do you quell an obsession? Go out for organic coffee and walk a dog and talk about your obsession, duh! [Does anyone else see the flaw there? No? Though I wouldn't mind a not-date with Jane...]



So of course, Snarker catches that Jane is making very clever super-gay plans for their not-date, cos organic coffee and walking dogs and talking about feelings is what us lesbians do.
So, as always, Snarker one-ups this and throws in a U-haul reference!
Jane is all, oh are you moving somewhere? Cue faux innocence. Ladies, just adopt a child already! We're on our way there, no?
But wait, Snarker doesn't move in after only one date! Or uh, not-date over organic coffee, cos she's a classy gal, Jane, what are you trying to say?!

And yes, my people, Snarker gets the last word in again. I see a recurring pattern here. Snarker knows how to dish it out, and while Jane plays with her, she goes back to Maura at the end of the day. Anybody thinking of anyone in their lives that are like this? Just checking.

Okay, so you should know that this was not the only interaction the ladies had this week. I thought I would break it down for you though, so later on today Rizznarker tweets 3.5 should be up. Hope you enjoyed, please leave comments and spread the word! Thanks for reading, I love you all!

[Also, I apologize if the jpegs are kinda crazy, lots of screencapping and not a ton of time makes for a bit of a mess.]

Rizznarker tweets [2?]: Snarker takes on Rizzoli!

Okay, if you know anything at all, you know that Afterellen.com's Dorothy Snarker is not afraid to chat it up with our favorite Detective [cool your jets Olivia Benson fans, I love her, too] Jane Rizzoli via twitter. Well, if you recall one of my past posts, Jane @replied Snarker regarding one of her Rizzoli and Isles recaps. Snarker may have called Jane fictional [not outright, through a hashtag] and that is a very touchy thing with Jane. She doesn't appreciate being called fictional [I know cos...well, I'll cover that in another post]. Yesterday, another interaction between these ladies occurred. I call these beautiful events Rizznarker witty banter tweets. Why? Cos I feel the need to combine words for my pleasure. And I can't quite call the "fights" as much as they are "witty banter", cos these ladies are playful with their arguments. I apologize for any inconvenience that may come from my word combinations. Well, anyhow, after a ton of screencapping, cutting, pasting, and cursing my computer and Twitter, I managed to get together the witty banter between the two [with Maura's comments as well].

First, let it be noted that this argument ensued after Snarker posted a recap of an episode of Rizzoli and Isles where the girls played softball.. *cough* Well, Snarker [according to Jane] was inaccurate in her post, messing up the facts about Jane's softball scores. Yea, Jane started this argument over, I repeat, incorrect softball scores. Do I even have to say anything about how gay that alone is? Oh dear...

Anyhow, Jane challenges Snarker, and Maura begins to scold her [insert "aww, how cute! Maura's trying to keep her girlfriend from getting into an argument!" here]. Clearly she's the femme cos she doesn't realize how important those scores are..Jane's got a reputation to uphold, y'know? Well, Jane pulls out some paper and a pencil cos that's like, her weapon of choice when she's trying to win an argument and impress her lady. Snarker says that she can't use Maura's genius, Maura isn't sure if she likes where this is going, and Jane makes a comment about Snarker's pretty head [oh snap, your girlfriend is watching girl!] and then tells Maura not to worry, cos she's "got this". [Am I the only one that found her reassuring Maura kinda cute? Yea? Anyhow...] Well, Jane asks for Maura's help anyhow, Snarker calls her out on it, cos, hullo, that's totally cheating! And Jane's like, naw you saw nothing
[just like we never saw this?].
 
mhmmmm...

So then Snarker let's it slide, saying that she deserves help from Maura after she gave Maura "batting tips" [this is where your mind let's this mean whatever you want it to mean]. To which Jane is like, duh, I can't let my femme girlfriend bat like Peewee Herman and embarrass me, I love her, but a lesbian has to know her softball. Plus, I got to touch her a lot, and I had a bat in my hand, and she was wearing that very, uh, appropriate outfit, and...[let's just admit it, that's totally what she meant].

So then Snarker hits it right on the money with her next tweet, making a comment about Jane wanting to get Maura to bat for her team. Jane reminds Snarker-she uses some silly analogy, using "vice" to represent "heterosexual"- that Maura was indeed batting for her team in the documentary, and Snarker needs to pay more attention, roar I win. But Snarker is not done. Oh, no no no. Because, duh, she does know that Maura bats for Jane's team. [The whole damn world knows it. Hell, I think my mother even knows it!] She also sees that Jane has some special interest in Maura being a "skilled position player". At this point, my head is exploding with innuendo cos "skilled" can be so laced with sexy as well as "position" and then there's the softball analogy,my head just goes to all sorts of places [and I'm the innocent one of the Rizzles Girls] and Rizzisles Rizzisles Rizzisles malfunction!

*cough*

Well. Snarker ends her tweet with an "Ahem.", as in, "Hah. well?". And Jane is awfully quiet in the matter for the rest of the night. She has not yet replied to Snarker's comment. Cos, duh, everything that Snarker said was true. Maura bats for our team, she's a skilled player, her permanent position is in Jane's arms, but if she admitted it all of our heads would explode and we'd drool all over our computers and it'd be a huge liabilty, and..

Well, anyhow. I won't say that Snarker won that one, cos apparently Jane is now keeping a close eye on things, and I really look up to her and I'm kind of afraid of her and I may or may not have a crush on her [and Maura, but shh]. So I will leave it at this: Snarker got the last word in.

However, Jane is [according to Maura] coming up with some master plan. She was asking people for words that rhyme with unicorn [which, really, Jane, could you have picked a gayer animal?!], but has not disclosed any further information on said master plan.

We will see what happens, then. But hey, the night ended with Jane getting burned out from working on the master plan, a pile full of master-plan-related paper in the trash bin, and a pizza date with Maura. So I guess she won, too!

Look for the next Rizzisles tweetcaps soon! I've got some stuff from earlier in the week, the aftershock of the 5 min deleted scene, and I don't even know what else. Please leave me a comment and tell your friends! =]