Saturday, November 27, 2010

Rizzisles 5 Minute Deleted Scene: What Comes Out of Jane's Closet

This one's over a week late! Oops! Sorry for the delay, enjoy the tweets:

So we start with [what else?] Maura criticizing Jane's wardrobe.
Maura says that Jane has nothing to wear and Jane point out that [much to the RizzlesGirls' dismay] that she's "wearin' something now".
And she wears clothes to work every day, too! It just isn't fair.

So, Jane doesn't care about what she's wearing because this is a pretend lesbian date. If this were a real lesbian date [with Maura] then she'd be going insane trying to find something perfect to wear, of course!

Maura thinks that Jane hasn't presented herself well on past dates. We're pretty sure she's referring to the ones with men, because last time Jane was wearing a beautiful dress, she ditched that loser at her Ma's and went running to Maura with a bottle of wine. She doesn't waste her nice clothes on fake dates, our Janie.

So, Maura advises Jane that she should look nice on these fake dates, because it's part of her job, and they take their jobs seriously.

And then Jane questions Maura's authority on the subject, because really, Maura can't have more experience in the lesbian date department, right?

Maura falters and avoids the subject- this is as surprising as when she told us that she likes marshmallow fluff on the bottom and the top of the sandwich! So it seems that Maura's been on more lesbian dates.

But she doesn't want to hurt Jane's feelings, so she redirects this to the issue at hand- clothes, of course!

So Jane picks out a random shirt that [miracle upon all miracles] is clean!

Maura seems to have a change of heart and says that this shirt is a good choice because it will keep Jane safe from "unwanted attention". I think what Maura means is "I don't want any baristas or fake dates making passes at my Janie, so I'll dress her up like a hobo". Oh, Maura, you're cute when you're possessive!

Jane tries to explain that this is her Wednesday shirt. And, duh, Maura knows that, she only watches Jane every single day, and I'm sure she's cataloged every single outfit that Jane has ever worn in that big brain of hers. For uh, fashion-related purposes, of course.

And Maura has a better idea, but it's not in Jane's closet. At this point, many of us let our imaginations run wild as we thought of just what Maura might have in mind for Jane to wear. And then we remember what Maura's supposed to be wearing later on in this episode, and we have to calm ourselves or we'll pass out before the tweets are done.


Then we go back to the whole "Jane hates pink" thing. Jane tells Maura to get out of the closet and Maura makes the usual "it was mauve" comment and criticizes Jane for falling asleep with shoes on, cos I guess she's not ready to come out of the closet yet. Jane makes some excuse about "meditating" and the girls get into their usual banter, at which point we all shake our heads knowingly and wonder when they're going to just kiss each other already. I mean,really, Maura, do you think she falls asleep all the time like that? She only does it when you're around, maybe she falls asleep with her shoes on cos she wants you to take her shoes off, geez. Then we get yet another "Jane..." cos Maura loves to leave open-ended sentences like that. And cos she's probably staring lovingly at Jane right now.

Jane seems to want to cut things off here. Cos she seems to think we know what happened anyway. Clearly though, there was something we don't know about.

And Maura tries to kill us by mentioning some process and how she "carefully...". Our imaginations go off to that place again, and we wish these deleted scenes would just go on forever.

Jane uses her usual tactics and distracts Maura, and we all pout and go back to that happy place where Maura is wearing a corset and Jane is enjoying the view.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Rizzisles 5 Minute Deleted Scene: Guilty Pleasures.

I started this Monday night,but somehow just got around to finishing it. So sorry for the delay, I was running around getting things together for a friend's birthday all week. But here it is...

So, we start with the girls having dinner. Okay, once again, they're eating together and having just about the zillionth not-date of their relationship. You two should be not-married by now! Or at least not-U-Hauling. Geez.

So, like I said, the ladies are having dinner. Take-out, to be exact. Maura brought the dinner, cos she seems to think that the food in Jane's fridge is unsafe. Jane tells her that she's "getting to know her". Well,I sure hope so,you two are practically attached at the hip, I'm sure Maura knows your thought processes at this point! Well, maybe not, I mean, she would've at least ki-nevermind...

So, Maura got all sorts of stuff, including [dun dun dunnn] hot wings! Ooh,Jane says that Maura never ceases to surprise her ;] It seems that Miss Isles likes to have something spicy every now and hear that, Jane? Maura says she can't help it,cos she must have what she craves. Anyone else think she craves a certain tall brunette?

Then Jane tells Maura that this pick of deleted scene wasn't all that bad. We all have our guilty pleasures.

We. All. Have. Our. Guilty. Pleasures.

Who honestly thinks that they don't do this on purpose?!

Anyway, Maura talks about marshmallow fluff [wait, I thought Jane was the marshmallow fluff,wouldn't that be your guilty pleasure?] and I get lost in their euphemisms.  Then Jane begins to tell us about next week,but Maura wants to tell us, and Jane acquiesces cos, duh, this is Jane and she gives Maura whatever she wants. 

So, we get the rules and things for the trivia event on Monday! This is super exciting, cos I'm dying to win! Although I'm afraid I won't do too well..I encourage you all to participate! Anyhow, the rules:

I think it's cute that even here, it's obvious that Maura calls the shots.
"Maura and I finally agreed on some rules for our challenge...doesn't mean I just wrote down what she said..."
Haha,sure, Jane, sure. It looks like Maura is in charge a lot of the time, she's got Jane wrapped around her finger.  Makes you wonder, maybe the fluff is on the other side of the sandwich? Hmm...

Monday, November 1, 2010

Rizzisles Halloween Tweets!!!

So today [or technically yesterday, since it is now Monday here in California], was Halloween! And Jane and Maura celebrated together, of course! Jane could have gone to her parents' place, but for some reason [I wonder why? Hmm] she spent it at Maura's. Not that we're complaining or anything! Anyway, the tweets...

So, we begin with another mention of Jane's "costume". She appears to have stuck with her Detective with No Socks costume...leave it to her to decide on a costume where she just removes clothing...

And Maura wants to see her in heels...hmm...Somehow, though, Jane thinks that the night will end in her breaking an ankle. Ah,well, I'm sure Maura won't protest to Jane walking around her place barefoot,wouldn't be the first time...

Maura is getting very technical about Halloween, and what candy they're going to give out to the neighborhood kids. In the end, she doesn't care what the heck they give out, cos they can use the time to go over those rules and blah blah blah, we all know it's just an excuse to have Jane hang out with her on this spooky night.

And Jane wonders how long she can spend on "rules". Now, I'm going to pretend that's a euphemism, and Jane doesn't really care how long they spend on "rules", they can just make "rules" all night long...well,okay then.

Jane seems to have stuffed all of the wrappers from her candy in one of Maura's pumps, and what I want to know is, at what point did Maura take her shoes off? Then the RizzlesGirls wonder if that was all she took off...and then Maura and Jane go silent after someone tells Angela about Jane stealing a bunch of chocolate. Wait,isn't chocolate supposed to be an aphrodisiac? Hmm...

Well, I'm going to assume the ladies had a wonderful rest of the night, eating candy and watching horror films or...something. I wonder if they'll ever stop wearing those matching Coworkers That Totally Aren't Dating costumes? Cos, just like a bad zombie costume, nobody is buying it...