Thursday, October 14, 2010

Rizznarker tweets [2?]: Snarker takes on Rizzoli!

Okay, if you know anything at all, you know that's Dorothy Snarker is not afraid to chat it up with our favorite Detective [cool your jets Olivia Benson fans, I love her, too] Jane Rizzoli via twitter. Well, if you recall one of my past posts, Jane @replied Snarker regarding one of her Rizzoli and Isles recaps. Snarker may have called Jane fictional [not outright, through a hashtag] and that is a very touchy thing with Jane. She doesn't appreciate being called fictional [I know cos...well, I'll cover that in another post]. Yesterday, another interaction between these ladies occurred. I call these beautiful events Rizznarker witty banter tweets. Why? Cos I feel the need to combine words for my pleasure. And I can't quite call the "fights" as much as they are "witty banter", cos these ladies are playful with their arguments. I apologize for any inconvenience that may come from my word combinations. Well, anyhow, after a ton of screencapping, cutting, pasting, and cursing my computer and Twitter, I managed to get together the witty banter between the two [with Maura's comments as well].

First, let it be noted that this argument ensued after Snarker posted a recap of an episode of Rizzoli and Isles where the girls played softball.. *cough* Well, Snarker [according to Jane] was inaccurate in her post, messing up the facts about Jane's softball scores. Yea, Jane started this argument over, I repeat, incorrect softball scores. Do I even have to say anything about how gay that alone is? Oh dear...

Anyhow, Jane challenges Snarker, and Maura begins to scold her [insert "aww, how cute! Maura's trying to keep her girlfriend from getting into an argument!" here]. Clearly she's the femme cos she doesn't realize how important those scores are..Jane's got a reputation to uphold, y'know? Well, Jane pulls out some paper and a pencil cos that's like, her weapon of choice when she's trying to win an argument and impress her lady. Snarker says that she can't use Maura's genius, Maura isn't sure if she likes where this is going, and Jane makes a comment about Snarker's pretty head [oh snap, your girlfriend is watching girl!] and then tells Maura not to worry, cos she's "got this". [Am I the only one that found her reassuring Maura kinda cute? Yea? Anyhow...] Well, Jane asks for Maura's help anyhow, Snarker calls her out on it, cos, hullo, that's totally cheating! And Jane's like, naw you saw nothing
[just like we never saw this?].


So then Snarker let's it slide, saying that she deserves help from Maura after she gave Maura "batting tips" [this is where your mind let's this mean whatever you want it to mean]. To which Jane is like, duh, I can't let my femme girlfriend bat like Peewee Herman and embarrass me, I love her, but a lesbian has to know her softball. Plus, I got to touch her a lot, and I had a bat in my hand, and she was wearing that very, uh, appropriate outfit, and...[let's just admit it, that's totally what she meant].

So then Snarker hits it right on the money with her next tweet, making a comment about Jane wanting to get Maura to bat for her team. Jane reminds Snarker-she uses some silly analogy, using "vice" to represent "heterosexual"- that Maura was indeed batting for her team in the documentary, and Snarker needs to pay more attention, roar I win. But Snarker is not done. Oh, no no no. Because, duh, she does know that Maura bats for Jane's team. [The whole damn world knows it. Hell, I think my mother even knows it!] She also sees that Jane has some special interest in Maura being a "skilled position player". At this point, my head is exploding with innuendo cos "skilled" can be so laced with sexy as well as "position" and then there's the softball analogy,my head just goes to all sorts of places [and I'm the innocent one of the Rizzles Girls] and Rizzisles Rizzisles Rizzisles malfunction!


Well. Snarker ends her tweet with an "Ahem.", as in, "Hah. well?". And Jane is awfully quiet in the matter for the rest of the night. She has not yet replied to Snarker's comment. Cos, duh, everything that Snarker said was true. Maura bats for our team, she's a skilled player, her permanent position is in Jane's arms, but if she admitted it all of our heads would explode and we'd drool all over our computers and it'd be a huge liabilty, and..

Well, anyhow. I won't say that Snarker won that one, cos apparently Jane is now keeping a close eye on things, and I really look up to her and I'm kind of afraid of her and I may or may not have a crush on her [and Maura, but shh]. So I will leave it at this: Snarker got the last word in.

However, Jane is [according to Maura] coming up with some master plan. She was asking people for words that rhyme with unicorn [which, really, Jane, could you have picked a gayer animal?!], but has not disclosed any further information on said master plan.

We will see what happens, then. But hey, the night ended with Jane getting burned out from working on the master plan, a pile full of master-plan-related paper in the trash bin, and a pizza date with Maura. So I guess she won, too!

Look for the next Rizzisles tweetcaps soon! I've got some stuff from earlier in the week, the aftershock of the 5 min deleted scene, and I don't even know what else. Please leave me a comment and tell your friends! =]

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